Civil war

I am torn in two 
but I will conquer myself. 
I will dig up the pride. 
I will take scissors 
and cut out the beggar. 
I will take a crowbar 
and pry out the broken 
pieces of God in me. 
Just like a jigsaw puzzle, 
I will put Him together again 
with the patience of a chess player. 

How many pieces? 

It feels like thousands, 
God dressed up like a whore 
in a slime of green algae. 
God dressed up like an old man 
staggering out of His shoes. 
God dressed up like a child, 
all naked, 
even without skin, 
soft as an avocado when you peel it. 
And others, others, others. 

But I will conquer them all 
and build a whole nation of God 
in me - but united, 
build a new soul, 
dress it with skin 
and then put on my shirt 
and sing an anthem, 
a song of myself.

Anne Sexton